But then I realized that I was way too lazy for that. Instead, I decided to focus on helping other people pen their own Kung Fu Masterpieces.

With that in mind, I created the Kung Fu Movie Script Generator you'll see below. In less than five minutes, you'll be reading two fully-written scenes of your next Kung Fu blockbuster.

Just add a battle scene and maybe a slow-moving Chinese mammal or two and you'll be ready to start shooting.

Enjoy the Kung Fu Movie Script Generator, and let me know how it turns out. You can send royalty checks to OnlyKnives.com.

Though it's hard to believe that The Simpsons has been on the air for nearly twenty years, my devotion to the show has not waned. I've been a fan for all of those years, following the ups and downs of this simple yellow family and their community.

And yet, there was one character that always seemed a bit underrated to me. One man who could change the tone of an entire episode with a wink, a nod, and a witty retort.

That man, of course, is Sideshow Bob. Voiced by the peerless Kelsey Grammer, Bob shows up periodically to torment Bart, frequently comes awfully close to destroying the show's very foundation, and then disappears for another year or two until his next visit. Quite an accomplishment, I'd say.

This, then, is my tribute to Mr. Bob. If I'm to continue following this show for the next twenty years, I'm going to demand a healthy dose of him. In exchange, each time a Sideshow Bob episode airs, I'll agree to cook up one of these Spicy Salmon Salads and share it with friends.

Revenge, after all, is best served family style.

Recipe for a Killer Salad

Jicama -- aka the "Mexican Turnip" -- is your best bet for beginning food sculpture. It's easy to carve, stays moist and is huge -- giving you lots of room to make mistakes. Also, if you screw up and want to re-attach an appendage or two, you can just stick a toothpick in it to hold two pieces together. You'll need two jicamas for this project -- one for the hair and one for the head.

As far as tools go, nothing fancy is needed. I used a Kershaw Leek knife for most of the carving and an old Swiss Army knife for the details. Then I used one of my fancy Shun Knives for serving him (you can see that picture later).

You'll also need toothpicks to attach the eyes and a paintbrush for applying the food coloring. I used McCormick's food coloring since that's what they had at my local grocery store. I'm sure any type would do just fine.

Crafting the Creature

The hardest part of making Bob is keeping the hair from falling apart. Once the jicama gets spindly, pieces of it start to break off. The good news is that large chunks can be reattached with toothpicks. Just make sure you take them out before serving!

Step one is to peel the jicama. Once you've done that, you can start shaping the tufts of hair. Progressively refine them until you're happy with the basic shape. You may want to make a few extra in case they fall off. Also, though you can always do some fine-tuning later, it's best to get the majority of the carving done before you apply the dye.

Once you've carved the hair, apply the food coloring liberally with a paintbrush. You'll want to leave it ample time to dry since, otherwise, the red coloring will run down onto the face. I let mine dry overnight.

Once you've got the hair done, you're in great shape. The face is fairly generic, with the only tricky part being the eyes. I used an un-dyed jicama ball, attached to the eye socket with a toothpick. A peppercorn in the center completes the look. Simply push the peppercorn into the eyeball before attaching to the face.

The Perfect Snack... For Revenge!

I followed this recipe for a Santa Fe Salmon Salad, simply omitting the Jicama and replacing it with my sculpture. Warning: it's pretty spicy. I thought that would be appropriate for this type of project.

Die, Bob, Die!

You'll need to invite intrepid guests to this party. I suggest you leave a few sharp knives lying around and then stand back to watch the fun begin. Of course, Bob wouldn't be caught dead with a knife as small as a paring knife. Bring out a large Chef's knife for the occasion.

Below you'll see the final product -- a single serving of Sideshow Bob Spicy Salmon Salad. Give him some time to soak up the jalapeno dressing and you'll forget all about his creepy look and garish colors.

Mmmmm... Delicious! Bart and Lisa would be so proud.

More Info

Want to know more about Bob? The Wikipedia, of course, has a comprehensive entry about him. Want to see another fun food carving? This is actually the second in a series of wacky sculptures. Check out the first one -- a Jar Jar Binks food carving from a few months ago.

Have I inspired you to create your own Simpsons-themed food sculpture? If so, drop me a line so we can compare notes. Or leave a comment below and let me know what you think.

Is it just me, or have the cooking shows gotten a bit sexier lately? Maybe I've been living under a rock, but when I start to see celebrity chefs posing half-naked on the cover of Men's magazines, I know something must be up.

With that in mind, I've compiled a list of the hottest women celebrity chefs. The women are ranked based on two factors: looks and their cooking skills. But mostly just on looks.

Enjoy the list! And if you don't like my rankings? Leave a comment below. Or make your own list and be sure to let me know.

Like just about every other kid growing up in the late twentieth century, I could never get enough of Star Wars. So it's no surprise that a grown-up Jedi-wannabe with a knack for the culinary arts would turn to Star Wars food carvings for entertainment.

There was just one problem... after hours of carving, I wasn't sure I'd be able to destroy my handiwork. After all, who wants to squash a sweet potato that's been lovingly crafted to look like Admiral Akbar? Or demolish a Daikon radish in the form of cult hero Boba Fett? Not me, that's for sure.

But what if I could create a Star Wars figure that I wanted to destroy? Surely then I'd be able to slice into it without remorse. Choosing a character did not turn out to be difficult.

Jar Jar Binks was easily the worst thing about The Phantom Menace. If I could create a scrumptious salad out of him and serve him up with a tasty crostini, perhaps I might have my revenge.

Jicama proved to be just the right medium for my sculpture — it's a tuberous root vegetable that is perfect for food carvings. It's crisp, cuts easily and doesn't dry out quickly. Jicama doesn't taste like much but readily absorbs the juices and flavors of a marinade or sauce.

No Lightsaber Required

Carving a Gungan out of a jicama is fun, but time-consuming and a little tricky. It's a lot easier if you have a good variety of carving tools at your disposal.

You won't be surprised to hear that professional food carvers use all sorts of fancy gadgets for their food carvings. But you don't need upscale tools for this project.

You'll need a sharp knife with a mid-sized blade for removing large chunks of the jicama and at least one smaller blade for detail work.

In the accompanying picture, you can see my choice of tools: a Kershaw Ken Onion Leek and an old Swiss Army knife. I also used a Forschner 3-inch Paring Knife. That's shown in one of the pictures below.

You'll also need toothpicks, a mid-sized paintbrush and a fine-point brush for coloring Jar Jar. Any kind of food coloring will do, but I chose Chefmaster powdered food color because that's what I had in the house.

Ingredients

• 1 large jicama. Though you might want to get an extra as a backup!
• 2 large carrots
• 1 cup red onion
• 1 red pepper
• 1 yellow pepper
• 1 large tomato
• 2 ripe limes
• 1/4 cup red wine vinegar
• 1 teaspoon honey
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• Pinch of ground cayenne pepper
• Salt and pepper
• 2 tablespoons cilantro

Creating Jar Jar

Find some good pictures to use as a reference while you work. You'll need more than one, preferably from different angles, since you'll be creating JJ in 3D.

Start by fleshing out the basic shape. Carve away large chunks of the jicama using your mid-sized blade. It shouldn't take long before you've got the major features in place.

Now for the detail work. A few key intricacies give Jar Jar his telltale look: his wrinkles, his eyes, and his goofy smile. The wrinkles are created by making small notches all around his nose and ears.

Eyes are just round jicama balls that are attached via toothpicks after coloring is done. Eyelids are separate as well and just sit on top of the eyeballs.

Last up is the food coloring. Paint the majority of his body greenish-brown. Jar Jar has a mottled look, so it's okay if you don't get this part perfect.

Assembling the Salad

There's a lot of chopping to be done in making this salad. But hey, this is a cooking site. Around here, we look for excuses to chop!

Julienne the carrots, onion, peppers and tomato. Don't know how to julienne? No problem -- just cut up the veggies into oversized matchsticks. Combine in a large bowl.

Squeeze the limes into a separate, small bowl and whisk in the vinegar, honey, olive oil and cayenne pepper. Salt and pepper to taste.

Pour the lime mixture over the chopped veggies, add the chopped cilantro and toss. Carefully place Jar Jar in the middle, then let sit for 30 minutes.

Serving Suggestions

How to present Jar Jar is really up to you.

If you and your guests are anything like me, you'll be chomping at the chance to sit down at the dinner table and slice Jar Jar to bits. I suggest putting some sharp knives around the edge of the bowl. Let your guests slowly dismember JJ and enjoy munching his eyes, ears and ridiculous smile.

If, on the other hand, you liked Jar Jar in Star Wars, you might want to preserve him a bit longer. In that case, carve up a second jicama and add that to the salad instead. Let Jar Jar be a garnish and keep him intact until the party's winding down.

Above you'll see the final product -- a single serving of Jar Jar Binks Jicama Salad. Mr. Binks may look gross, but he gets tastier and tastier as his insides absorb the lime-vinegar juice.

Mmmmm... Mesa happy to eat da Jar Jar salad!

More Info

I had a lot of fun creating this salad, but food carving is actually a serious business. Want to see some amazing food sculptures and get an inside look at what it's all about? Check out this recent New York Times article on food carving.

If you do decide to make a Jar Jar Jicama Salad, drop me a line and let me know how it went. Or, better yet, invite me over and I'll help you slice him up!

With that in mind, I've compiled the ultimate list of hot sword fighting movie actresses.

On this list, you'll see...

Smokin' Hot Babes With Razor-Sharp Swords in Kick-Ass Movies.

The women are ranked by three factors: looks, acting ability and, most importantly, their skill with a sword.

The classic beauties on this list were ground-breaking pioneering hotties who weren't afraid to mix it up in their day. The younger ones are stunning martial arts experts who hope their legacy lives on forever.

Enjoy the list! And if you don't like my rankings? Leave a comment below. Or make your own list and be sure to let me know.

Where's Xena?!
Movie babes only this time around. We'll tackle the TV babes soon so stay tuned.

The good news is that a short list of expert tips can help you get educated in a hurry. Following those tips will ensure that you get the most appropriate knives for your budget. These tips can certainly save you a bundle of money but, more importantly, will help you walk away with great knives. If you've never wielded a light, razor-sharp Japanese Chef's knife, you're in for a real treat.

After I've laid out these tips, I'll apply them to a set of price ranges and make specific knife recommendations. Of course, choosing knives is a personal decision. You'll want to consider your style of cooking, how often you cook and the tasks you frequently perform. But the recommendations should serve as a good starting point -- they're all great knives and are priced appropriately.

The Great Kitchen Knife Revolution

Before we get started, it's worth reviewing some kitchen knife history. Many people are unaware of the great upheaval that the kitchen knife industry has undergone in the last decade.

Needless to say, it has completely changed the landscape for buying cutlery. The short version of this great story is that the best knives available today were unheard of even ten years ago. Ten years ago, there were only two names in kitchen knives -- Henckels and Wusthof. And it had been that way for many years.

Today, those German knife makers are scrambling to keep up with new, superior knives introduced by Japanese knife making companies.

German knives still have their place in the kitchen, don't get me wrong, but if you've been stuck using those knives for the last decade, you'll be pleasantly surprised when you try out a knife from Global, MAC or Shun.

Learn more about the rise and fall of the great knife-making companies.

Tips for Saving Money on Kitchen Knives

Some cooks will tell you that you can't buy kitchen knives on a budget. "You get what you pay for", they'll say. Or "you can't get decent quality for under $150".

I don't buy it. Granted, you're not going to get a full set of quality knives without shelling out some serious dough, but there ARE some great values out there. And if you're smart about how you spend your money, those values can be found.

1. Don't Buy Too Many Knives

One of the first mistakes people make when buying a set of knives is to go out and get the largest set they can. "Why buy the 14 piece set when you can get the 21 piece set for just $75 more?" they reason.

The answer is simple... You're never going to need all those knives. If you're a professional chef who needs the perfect knife for every task, then you'll certainly need a lot of knives. But for the rest of us, we can get by with a small number of high-quality knives. Buying three good quality knives instead of a 14-piece set with lots of "filler" can save you more than fifty percent. Of course, you won't have as many knives as with the large set. But your knives will be just as useful for most tasks and will be much higher quality.

Which knives are essential and which can you live without? Click here to find out.

Knife Set or à la Carte?
Many people assume that the best way to buy knives is as part of a set. And yet, most experts will tell you NOT to buy a knife set, but rather to buy knives one-at-a-time. That way, you get exactly the knives you want and don't pay extra for knives you don't need.

Of course, there are times when a knife set makes sense. Click here to discover the pros and cons of each.

2. Sharpness Matters More Than Price

Many people are happy with the performance of their knives when they first buy them, but then neglect to maintain them over time. A few years later, they're left wondering why these knives seem ineffective.

It may seem obvious that kitchen knives need to be sharpened periodically and I'm sure that most people know this. And yet, many home chefs don't know how to do this, don't want to do it, or just plain forget to do it. I make a habit of inspecting knives in as many home kitchens as I can and I can reliably say that the blades are too dull in about 90% of them.

If you don't know how to maintain knives properly, you might be tempted to discard old knives before their time. Or, worse yet, you might buy expensive knives in the hope that they will be sharper than an inexpensive set. Sadly, this is not always the case. Buying a new set of sharp knives and then keeping them sharp will put you way ahead of the game -- regardless of how much your knives cost.

How to choose sharp knives and keep them that way? Check out our kitchen knife sharpening guide.

3. Know Your Steel

The single most important factor in determining the quality of a kitchen knife is not its name brand, its price or whether it was stamped or forged. It's the steel used in the blade. Better quality steel will last longer, can hold a sharper edge for a long time, and will be easier to resharpen.

And yet, other than making vague marketing statements about "high carbon content", most manufacturers do not advertise the makeup of their steel. This can lead to a costly mistake for the consumer -- purchasing knives made from inferior steel. Generic "high-carbon" knives might feel great when they come out of the box, but they're sure to disappoint down the road.

Click here to learn about the different materials typically used and to learn what type of steel you should choose.

Recommended Knives

Applying the tips above to a set of different budget tiers yields some real bargains. Most of the knives on this list are known more for their quality among professional chefs than for their name recognition and corporate marketing budget. If you've read this far, it won't come as any surprise that each recommendation includes just a small set of essential knives and that each knife is made of high-quality steel, is razor-sharp and can be kept that way.

Of course you don't need to stick to a single price level -- if you're buying à la carte as most experts recommend, consider mixing and matching knives from each price level. You're likely to save even more money doing that, as you may choose to get a high-end Chef's knife but other knives from the lower-priced categories.

Where's Cutco?
Cutco's made a name for themselves by showing people just how sharp home cutlery can be. I applaud them for that, but don't particularly care for their knives. In my opinion, the steel's nothing special and the price is too high. In short, they don't fit our three money-saving rules above.

Recommended $50 Knives

Cooks Illustrated's recommendation -- the Forschner 3-Piece Fibrox set -- is a screaming bargain. It's not beautiful and the steel is merely good, but it will out-perform just about any other knife in this price range. For those looking for more stylish knives, KAI's Komachi series is another great choice in this range.

Read More...

$150 Knives

In this price range, buying à la carte allows you to consider a top-notch Chef's knife from the Shun Classic or MAC Professional series, and then supplement with the less-expensive Forschners from our lowest price tier.

If you're determined to buy matching knives, Messermeister makes a great small set in this price range. Messermeister is not as well-known as Wusthof and Henckels, but their knives are a much better value. Their San Moritz Elite Knives are made of high-quality steel and are reasonably-priced.
Read More...

$300 - $500 Knives

At this level, you're no longer making sacrifices. You'll find great knives intended for serious amateurs as well as professional chefs.

Shun is the current kitchen knife king. You can't chop an onion without noticing their great press. The Shun Seven Piece Classic set epitomizes the three money-saving tips outlined above.

Another option is Global. Global was the first knife maker to introduce the world to the joys of razor-sharp Japanese steel. The feel takes a little getting used to but the Global 5-piece set is priced appropriately.

If you're buying à la carte, consider the knives from Shun and Global mentioned above, but also check out MAC Professional Knives. They're lesser-known and are not typically sold in sets, but they are great performers and are typically less-expensive than both Shun and Global.

$1000 Knives

If you're an aspiring professional or simply want the best knives that money can buy, you've got a ton of great choices in this range. Choosing one is really a personal decision, so it's hard for us to recommend just one.

Look for top-notch Japanese makers such as Hattori, Misono, Blazen, Glestain and Nenox to name a few. All of these makers produce exceptionally sharp knives with centuries-old knife-making traditions to back them up.

One Knife to Rule Them All?

If you've read this far, you may be curious to try out the virtues of Japanese knives without committing to a large purchase. Choosing a single 8" Chef's knife from one of the recommended names above will allow you to test the waters a bit. Either the Shun Classic or the MAC Professional make a good start to a Japanese-themed set and won't break the bank.

More Info

Can't get enough kitchen knives? I've attempted to provide an introduction to the world of high-performance kitchen knives and supply some recommendations, but I've only scratched the surface.

If you're a true knife head, then you already know about KnifeForums.com and Foodie Forums. Some very knowledgeable and friendly people hang out there and are happy to answer any and all of your questions.

Chad Ward is one of those friendly and knowledgeable knife buffs, but he went one step further -- he wrote a book. "An Edge in the Kitchen" is a comprehensive book about Kitchen knives. It's a great read.

Drop Me a Line

Buying and using kitchen knives is a very personal experience. Have you tried out some of these knives and loved them? Don't agree with my money saving tips? Leave a comment below or send an email and let me know what you think.

Reasons to Buy a Knife Set

• It looks nice. Cooks like to display their knives. Having a set of matched blades will fit in better in a good-looking kitchen.
• It's convenient. For many, the thought of researching the best Chef's knife, the best paring knife, and several other great knives can be daunting. With a set, you can get great knives with just a single purchase.
• It makes a good gift. If you're giving a gift, you're going to get some quizzical looks if you give a mismatched set. You'll probably have to include a copy of this article to explain why you didn't get a set. If the recipient doesn't know much about knives, a set will let you rest assured that you've done them a favor without overly complicating things.
• It can save money. If you find a set that has exactly the pieces you want, you may get a discount for buying in bulk. But if you're buying knives you don't actually need, this advantage disappears quickly.

Reasons to Buy Individual Knives

• The knives are better. If you're picking out knives one-by-one, you can choose the best chef's knife, the best paring knife, the best bread knife, etc. In a set, you may find one knife is not as good as the others. Buying one-at-a-time ensures that each knife is top-notch.
• It can save money. Yes, I realize I just listed this as a pro for knife sets as well. But it really can go either way. By buying one knife at a time, you don't overpay for any single knife. And you won't end up buying anything you don't need, which can be the real money-saver.
• You're filling in the gaps. Perhaps you already have a set of knives you like, but it's incomplete. Or maybe you just want to upgrade one or two knives from your existing set.
• You'll have cachet. Anyone who shows off a mismatched set of knives must know what they're doing, right? The true chef will see your mismatched set and know that you've got the best tool for each job.

So buying a knife set may be the best choice in some circumstances, buying one-at-a-time in others. If you're just starting out, your best bet may be to buy a small set of knives and then supplement with individual knives over time.

All of the advice I've laid out elsewhere -- on sharpening, maintenance, and researching steel -- holds true regardless of whether you decide to purchase a set or individual knives.

This went on for quite some time. These German knife makers produced a quality product that consumers liked, so there was no real reason to change things.

So when an upstart Japanese knife maker named Yoshinkin came along offering their quirky Global knives, the Germans paid them no mind. But there was one small problem -- people LOVED Global Knives. They were razor-sharp, light and had no bulky bolster in the middle of the knife to get in the way of cutting and re-sharpening.

Wusthof and Henckels no doubt saw this development as troublesome. But they were set in their ways, their market share didn't dip too much, and it would've been expensive to change the way they'd made their knives for so many years. Not to mention embarrassing! So they did their best to ignore Global.

Of course, once Global started getting some buzz, it didn't take long for other knife-makers to follow suit.

Out With the Germans, In With the Japanese!

Fast forward a few years and see how the game has changed. The hot name in kitchen knives is now Japanese, but it's not Global. KAI, a Japanese behemoth, has taken the market by storm with their sharp, gorgeous and pricey Shun Knives.

Most mainstream consumers had never tried a Global. But once they got their hands on a Shun, it was like a light bulb went on. These were knives that could cut with ease, didn't cause fatigue due to their light weight, and were gorgeous gourmet showpieces.

Seemingly overnight, the "big three" American cutlery retailers (William Sonoma, Crate and Barrel, and Sur La Table) began offering and featuring Shun Knives. These knives had a higher price point, performed better than their German knives, and allowed the retailers to tell a new story in what had been a stale, stagnant product line.

But What's Really the Difference?

Of course, some of this David vs. Goliath story was hype. A competent bladesmith can make a German knife quite sharp. And sometimes, of course, you really need a sturdy blade that can hack away at some frozen meat.

But there are some very real differences. We'll list some of the most important ones below:

• German knives are "softer". This means that they will be less brittle, and more likely to hold up in the dishwasher. But they won't hold an edge the way that a Shun does.
• Japanese knives are sharper. Using a harder steel allows Japanese knives to be sharper. And by using age-old knife-making techniques to "layer" other steels alongside the cutting edge, these knives can be durable and stain-resistant as well.
• German knives use a "single piece of steel". They are able to do this since their steels are softer and less prone to break. This feature is still used in their messaging to evoke a consistent, strong image, but in practice it's mostly just hype.
• German knives typically have a full bolster. This bolster can prevent a cook from using a proper grip on a knife and will also get in the way of resharpening after a matter of time. This is beginning to change, however, as the Germans play catch up and start to introduce features developed by the Japanese.
• German knives have a "full tang". This means that the knife blade runs through the full length and width of the handle. Japanese knives typically have a much smaller "hidden" tang. The marketing hype is still pervasive on this one -- you'll hear that a full tang is more durable and less likely to break. In fact both are legitimate ways to make a knife. The big difference is that having a full tang moves the "balance point" -- or center of gravity -- back toward the handle. This will give the knife a "handle heavy" feel. Some chefs prefer this, though mostly it's a personal choice.

So Which Is Better?

Both types of knives certainly have their place in a well-stocked kitchen -- German knives for the heavy-duty hacking and Japanese knives for just about everything else.

So if you're still using your sturdy German knives from last decade, don't throw them away just yet. A good resharpening, coupled with a few new Japanese knives to complement them might be the best of both worlds.

Starting from scratch? Personally, I think that once you try out a razor-sharp Japanese knife, you'll never look back.

There are a few problems with this logic. First and foremost, most hobbyist chefs do not need all of the knives included in a large set. Having four different paring knives might be useful if you're a professional cook and need to have the perfect tool for every task but, for the rest of us, it's overkill.

The other problem with buying a set loaded up with extra pieces is that those extra pieces are often just "filler". Adding 7 steak knives to a set is a popular way to bulk it up, as is adding a kitchen shears, sharpening steel and knife block.

You may want some of those items but, if you're trying to get the best bang for the buck, focus on getting the best "essential" blades. You can always add those extra pieces later. Those extra pieces are likely to be quite inexpensive when not purchased as part of a set.

Essential Knives

The vast majority of all kitchen cutting tasks are accomplished with one of just a few knives. Let's take a look at each.

Chef's Knife

The chef's knife is the "workhorse" of the kitchen. It's primary use is chopping and slicing, though it's doubtful you'll make any meal without using it. It comes in many different sizes, the most common being 8". If you prefer a larger or smaller model, you can find 10" and 6" models as well.

Paring Knife

The paring knife is used for paring, peeling and other precision work. Using a chef knife to peel an apple would be suicide, so you can't do without this one.

Beyond those two essential knives, opinions start to diverge. Some experts say that a starter set needs nothing other than those two. Others will say that a few more knives completes a basic set.

Personally, I think you're going to feel a bit underpowered with just the above two knives. Consider the next three knives "very nice to have" and then complete your set with any or all.

Utility Knife

Some say that the utility knife is a jack-of-all-trades, but master-of-none. You may find yourself reaching for it, however, to slice an sandwich, or to accomplish some other "mid-sized" task for which the Chef's knife will be overkill. You can get away without this knife, but it sure is a nice addition to a basic set. Utility knives range in size and can be serrated or not.

Carving Knife

The long carving blade is used for slicing and carving meats. They come in various shapes and sizes, serrated and not. While a chef's knife can serve this purpose, a carving knife will be perfectly suited to it. You may find this blade doubling as a bread knife as well, especially if it's serrated.

Bread Knife

A long narrow serrated knife used primarily for cutting bread. While a soft, narrow loaf needs no such specialty knife, a thick crusty bread will crumble and make a big mess without this type of knife. Bread knives' serrations help keep it sharp longer, but it can be tricky to re-sharpen. For that reason, bread knives should be considered to have a limited lifespan.

Of course you can add more knives to your set, and you may choose to over time. But try to make due without too many of the above knives and you're likely to find yourself wanting.

Six months later, their knives are now dull as a doornail. The cook wonders why they didn't hold up so well and goes off in search of newer, better knives.

But wait just a minute there! A little maintenance can go a long way toward preserving sharpness. Do it right and you can extend the life of your knives indefinitely. Learn about maintenance before you buy knives and you can save yourself a ton of money.

If you want great performance from your knives, look for knives that are sharp and will remain sharp with proper maintenance instead of ones that are "maintenance free."

Don't know how to maintain knives? Read on....

Sharpening and Other Knife Maintenance

Most people read this article to learn about sharpening. But, while I've got you, I'll mention three other important factors in knife maintenance: cleaning, storage and cutting boards. We'll start with sharpening, but don't miss those important sections near the end of this page.

Sharpening

Sharpening consists of rebuilding the edge on a dull knife. A skilled blade worker can restore an edge that is as sharp, if not sharper, than the blade's original edge.

Before we get started on sharpening, though, we've first got to clear up a misconception about 'honing'. Then we'll talk about which sharpening technique you should choose and then finally we'll talk about how to properly sharpen a knife.

Honing
Many people believe that sharpening consists of rapidly and repeatedly dragging a metal rod across their knife blades. Like many popular perceptions, this is only partially based in truth.

That metal rod is called a "sharpening steel" or a "honing steel". The latter is a better name, since it's actually for honing, or refining, a knife blade and not for sharpening it.

Every time you use your precision knife, you create minor imperfections and bends in your blade. Any one imperfection doesn't add up to much, but use your knife regularly for a week or two and you'll start to notice the dullness.

A honing steel, used frequently -- after every other hour-long session or so -- can help reset these imperfections and keep your knife sharp.

Proper technique is best shown, rather than described so here's a good video that explains it:

Sharpening Techniques

Unlike honing, sharpening a knife consists of re-building a new edge on a worn blade. This involves removing a bit of the metal edge to uncover a new, sharper one. Depending on how worn the knife is, more metal may need to be removed.

Because metal is being removed from the blade, over-aggressive sharpening can actually reduce the lifespan of your knife. Some novices are scared off by this but, once you've read this guide, you'll be able to make smart decisions about sharpening so that your blades will get sharp and stay that way.

Let's talk about some of the different techniques you can use so you can choose the one that best suits you.

Electric Sharpeners
A few bad electric sharpeners have given the entire group a bad rap. The sawzall on the back of your electric can opener, for example, will eat your kitchen knives for lunch and should be avoided at all costs.

High-quality electric sharpeners, however, get the job done and are convenient and easy to use. If you've never sharpened your knives, you'll certainly improve your edges by using a good electric sharpener.

Unfortunately, there are a few downsides even with the high-end models. Electric sharpeners generally don't produce an edge that is as refined as the other techniques outlined in this article. Also, many models are overly aggressive when it comes to removing metal, which can reduce the lifespan of your knife.

I don't generally recommend electric sharpeners for those reasons. If you've got high-end knives, you won't want to trust them to an electric sharpener. If you've got inexpensive knives that you want to keep sharp, you'd need to buy a sharpener that costs more than your knives! But, if you're convinced you want to go this route, Chef's Choice is the brand to trust.

Stones
Most people who are serious about sharpening consider stones to be the only way to go. Japanese waterstones are among the most popular types and are available in various coarseness levels -- or grit sizes -- depending on how much work the knife actually needs.

Provided you've got the patience to learn proper technique, sharpening with stones allows you to choose an appropriate grit size, sharpening angle and amount of pressure. This will result in the best quality edge once you've refined your technique.

Below is a video that introduces proper technique. You may find this is enough to get started but, if not, I recommend Dave Martell's excellent DVD The Art of Knife Sharpening for professional training.

Shun makes a combination whetstone that is a good choice for novices. It's not the least expensive stone around but it's readily available and has two grit-levels in one stone, making it an easy choice for an introduction to this technique.

Sharpening Systems
Various devices claim to give you the benefit of sharpening with stones without the guesswork of setting your angles. These techniques provide more convenience than stones, and are usually easier to learn how to use. However, they trade off that convenience against inflexibility. Want to use a certain grit that is not available in your system, or want to set a custom angle on your knives? You may be be out of luck if you choose one of these.

Pull-through sharpeners hold miniature stones in place at just the right angle and provide a slot for you to insert your knives and pull them through, dragging the edge against the stones. Many provide multiple slots, each one providing a unique level of coarseness.

Lansky makes a sharpening system that is worth a special mention due to its popularity. The Lansky system enables you to drag the stone over the knife, rather than the other way around. The system includes an adjustable bracket that ensures the angle is set properly, and a set of stones that can be easily swapped in and out.

Sharpening systems can be a good choice for high-quality sharpening without the learning curve of stones. Be aware of the trade-offs involved, though, before committing to this technique.

Professional Sharpening
If you've read about the techniques above and decided they may not be for you, professional resharpening can be an excellent option. Sound expensive? It's not. You can typically have a knife resharpened for less than ten bucks. The trick is to find somebody good.

You can start by testing out a specialty cutlery shop. If they provide sharpening services, try them out with a few lesser knives to see if they know what they're doing. If they don't, ask them to recommend someone who does.

Alternatively you can find sharpeners on the web that will accept and return your knives by mail. These sharpeners cost more, since you'll need to pay for shipping, but you can quickly find some with top-notch reputations and reasonable fees. One of the best is D & R Sharpening.

Whether you choose a local or internet-based sharpener, you shouldn't be without your knives for more than a week or so. During that week, I recommend you eat out!

Cleaning

Many high-end knives are said to be "stain resistant", "maintenance free", or "dishwasher safe". This means that the steel used in making the blade is durable and corrosion-resistant. Sadly, that construction can often go hand in hand with "dull".

Those types of knives might be right for you if you're adamant about never washing a dish or if you like to leave your knives sitting dirty after you've done the food prep. But for those who want high-performance sharp knives, a touch of preventative cleanup is required.

Fortunately that cleanup comes down to one simple rule: hand-clean your knives shortly after each use.

Knives get banged around in the dishwasher. The chemicals in dishwasher detergent can stain and dull your blades. Instead, simply clean the knife gently, but thoroughly after each use and dry it immediately. High-performance knives should never sit in water -- this is a surefire way to cause corrosion and dullness.

Storage

How you store your knives is another important factor in how they will perform. Just like with cleaning, it comes down to one simple rule: don't throw them in a kitchen drawer. Knives are jostled around in a drawer, causing the blades to scrape one another. This results in -- you guessed it -- dullness.

Better storage options include a wooden knife block or a magnetic knife strip. If you choose a knife block, look for one with horizontal slots so the knife blade won't be touching anything while stored. If you opt for a magnetic knife strip, you'll have the added bonus of having your knives on display in your kitchen. Like the look of your knives? Go with the magnetic strip.

Cutting Boards

It should come as no surprise, after reading about knife maintenance, that the surface of your cutting board affects how sharp your blades will be. Opt for wood cutting surfaces over ceramic or glass when choosing a board -- the latter two surfaces can degrade a knife's blade dramatically and quickly.

Product Recommendations

Check out all of our kitchen knife sharpening reviews along with some recommendations.