40. Laurene Landon
| Looks: |  |
| Acting: |  |
| Swordplay: |  |
Laurene Landon was billed as the Female Conan the Barbarian. A bit of an awkward title, perhaps, but “Hundra” proves the point pretty well. In that flick, she looks good, fights great and is at her best when not doing much talking. Just like Arnold.
Laurene had a very promising start to her career and would’ve been a star if not for the lack of fighting-but-not-speaking roles available. She’s back in the business today after a long hiatus, so maybe times have changed.
39. Kristy Swanson
| Looks: | |
| Acting: | |
| Swordplay: | |
Kristy has found herself in a couple of half-hearted sword fights. In “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, she spends most of her time fending off Rutger Hauer’s sword with a flag staff. In “The Phantom”, she gets in a few good licks but the bad guys are so bumbling that it’s almost laughable.
We’ll give her credit, however, as she carried “Buffy” — one of the better movies you’ll encounter on this list. It’s light fun and has a star-studded cast that includes Donald Sutherland, Pee Wee Herman, Hilary Swank, Rutger Hauer and Luke Perry. They’ve got nothing on Kristy, though.
38. Kate Beckinsale
| Looks: | |
| Acting: | |
| Swordplay: | |
Kate would deserve another star for her swordplay if she had held a blade for more than about 30 seconds in “Underworld: Evolution”. Unfortunately, her enemy’s head slides off just moments before she’s about to get into it. “Van Helsing” is pretty much the same deal.
She’d also deserve another star for her acting if she could make me forget “Pearl Harbor”, but that will never happen.
No doubt she’s the real deal in the looks department, though. Hey, Kate, one out of three aint bad!
37. Natassia Malthe
| Looks: | |
| Acting: | |
| Swordplay: | |
Natassia Malthe needs some career advice. As if starring in a movie based on a video game were not bad enough, she then accepted the leading role in “Blood Rayne II: Deliverance”.
Natassia, what were you thinking? Did you not see the original? Did you think that all it was missing was a half-vampire version of Billy the Kid?
Natassia’s best performance, of course, was in a sword fighting role. In “DOA: Dead or Alive”, she engaged in a sword fight tribute to “Crouching Tiger” and looked awfully good doing it.
36. Geena Davis
| Looks: | |
| Acting: | |
| Swordplay: | |
I understand that Geena Davis trained for the Olympics in archery but didn’t quite make it. I thought that maybe she should try again in fencing until I saw her in “Cutthroat Island”. It’s a fun movie, but the sword fighting is highly choreographed and mostly unbelievable.
Maybe we shouldn’t blame Geena, though. Maybe we should blame Matthew Modine. Matt has ruined at least one other sword fighting flick: “The Gamble” with Faye Dunaway. There may be others, so beware.
Geena, of course, has had a stellar career as a first-rate actress in several other major Hollywood movies. Just stay away from Matthew, Geena, and you should be fine.
35. Kim Cattrall
| Looks: | |
| Acting: | |
| Swordplay: | |
Long before “Sex and the City”, Kim Cattrall was one of the hottest rising young actresses in Hollywood. And what made her so hot? Sure, it may have been her role as Lassie in “Porky’s”, but at least part of it was her performance in “The Return of the Musketeers”.
Kim did some impressive sword work in the movie. It’s not a great movie, to be sure, but seeing Kim fight the Musketeers is almost worth the price of admission.
Kim plays the evil Justine, attempting to avenge her father’s death at the hands of the Musketeers twenty years ago.
Kim’s beauty has held up well over the years but this movie looks doomed to be forgotten. It’s not out on DVD, so you’ll have to haul out your old VCR if you want to see it.
34. Sylvia Kristel
| Looks: | |
| Acting: | |
| Swordplay: | |
Sylvia never missed a chance to take her top off in her movies, and “Mata Hari” is no exception.
What is exceptional is the writers managed to come up with an excuse to have her half-naked during a sword fight. A little goofy and contrived, for sure, but it’s the only scene like it on this list.
Best known for her work in the “Emanuelle” movies, Sylvia also wrote a telling memoir just released about two years ago.
Sadly, “Mata Hari” is a stinker. Unless you’re dead set on seeing the naked sword fight, see the original with Greta Garbo instead.
33. Genevieve Bujold
| Looks: | |
| Acting: | |
| Swordplay: | |
Though it’s certainly dated, “Swashbuckler” is really not bad. I kept waiting for James Earl Jones to launch into his Darth Vader voice or for Peter Boyle to go all “Young Frankenstein” on us, but instead I fell for Genevieve Bujold.
She makes a great rebellious noblewoman who can hold her own against or alongside a band of pirates. It features a star-studded cast that includes Beau Bridges and Anjelica Huston.
Bujold is a timeless French beauty who seemed like she might be ready to become an A-lister after her leading role in “Coma”. That didn’t happen, but you’ve seen her around in many other Hollywood movies.
32. Devon Aoki
| Looks: | |
| Acting: | |
| Swordplay: | |
Devon Aoki must have gained such a reputation as a slasher in “Sin City” that she barely had to show her stuff in “DOA: Dead or Alive”. Too bad for us, since that movie’s fight scenes are quite entertaining.
Devon will be back, however, in an upcoming “Sin City” sequel, so there’s hope for us yet.
And while you’re waiting for “Sin City II”, here’s a fun fact about Devon: her daddy Rocky created “Benihana”. I guess the sword doesn’t fall too far from the rack.
31. Sienna Guillory
| Looks: | |
| Acting: | |
| Swordplay: | |
Will Sienna Guillory ever be an A-lister?
She’s got the looks, that’s for sure. She’s British, so her acting skills can’t be that bad. And she kicks some serious butt in both “Eragon” and “Resident Evil: Apolcalypse”.
“Eragon” is more of a kid’s movie but it’s fun nonetheless, especially if you can forgive the talking dragon.
Sienna’s got some good movies in the works, so keep an eye on her. I know I will.
